Hi. Me: 38 year old first time runner from Bath. You: Either bored @ work or putting off going for a run.
I have paused for thought.
This was not a choice. I have another injury.
After weeks of no running waiting for shin splints to heal, I now have a muscle pull on my lower left soleus near my achilles.
I've taken 2 weeks off running (no choice in that matter - muscles have a way of letting you know clearly when they need a rest. I can only liken it to having a toddler scream at you in the middle of Sainsburys - similar levels of discomfort and desire to M-A-K-E I-T S-T-O-P)
I have interesting chats about injury with folk who I love and respect hugely. There is a general, and I have to admit, fairly understandable concern that maybe I'm not cut out for running. That my body is trying to tell me something.
Like I said - understandable considering my luck over the last 3 months. But here's the thing. I have gone to working out 3 - 5 times a week since October - from nothing. Before then it's true - I never had shin splints. I never had a pulled soleus muscle (I didn't even know what or where it is - frankly, soleus sounds more like a sun cream to me). But here's what I did have; apathy, lethargy, relentlessly aching joints (especially my hips), and overweight bordering on obese. But we don't talk about these "injuries". We accept these as things that are an inevitable consequence of aging or things that we just don't talk about. But these are the things that kill us. When was the last time anyone died of shin splints?!
So, blessed with the love and concern of my friends, I will continue to be sensible, take fabulous advice and do everything I can to cement running as a part of my long term plan for fitness in my life - above and beyond the Race. Injury is an inevitable consequence of getting and keeping fit. My plan is to not let it derail me.
Meanwhile, my good witch of the North** has been away and so I wait to see her tomorrow.
And I think the best way to describe how I feel is ... trepidatious.
10 weeks left of training at time of writing. I have only got my distance up to 4 miles before being stopped in my tracks.
And it gives me time to really think abut why I am running. Why I feel so upset when I think I may not be ready or able to run (although my definition of "ready" is getting more and more flexible).So here's some reflection on my back story:
1) Celebration: I am primarily running because this is the first time in all my 38 years that I have felt that I could even consider it. Last Oct I started seeing a trainer, just once a month (they're not cheap!) and it proved to be the kick start I needed to make lasting changes and see slow and steady weight loss that I am completely confident will stay gone. The race for me is a celebration of my new found fitness.
2) Control: My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 inoperable cancer in April. Mum is my rock, one of my best friends, and all round last person in the world who deserves it ... you know the type. When I allow it to, it feels as if my life is spinning out of control. So I try not to allow it - I concentrate on one day at a time. But I'd be lying if I said that the race wasn't my attempt to control something and bring order and planning to my life at a time when I feel completely bloody powerless. And yes ... I know ... trying to control things is never good in the long run (s'cuse the sad runner's pun) but I'm just being honest.
3) St Margaret's Hospice. Mum has worked there for the last 5 years - and wants to end things there too. So I will be fundraising for them. Not that there aren't many other fabulous causes. But this is mine. And it matters.
4) Being led astray. I should know better. My starting mate for the race persuaded me to sign up with him. This is the same mate who introduced me to Tucker's Tango - the simply amazing and yet perfectly lethal dry cider they serve at Tucker's Grave. The same mate who agrees to go to the cinema with me but we end up eating and drinking instead. Really, really after 23 years, I should know better.
5) The Izzard effect. Not to be underrated. Especially his explanation that he felt he'd reached 40 healthy due to luck and cerntainly not judgement, and that 40 onwards was time to pay into the health karma account. I was profoundly moved by what that nutter did for Comic relief.
I think that's about it. I am back on the spinning bike and weights to make sure I am not wasting the time I'm 'offroad'. And we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings. But I won't worry about that right now. It's still today after all.
Cool runnings to you all.
**Good witch of the North = my physio, the best physio in all the world. See my Land of Oz blog post xxx
